Whenever I think about life and death, I get flabbergasted. It's hard to wrap my mind the idea. Every time someone dies, another beautiful baby is brought into the world. About every other year, someone I know dies. My grandmother. Ashley's mom. My great-grandma. Marchelle Tab-Tab. My brother's Godparents. James Ackles. My uncle. And now my Aunt Sara.

I find it ironic that today was the day she passed. When I last saw her at Christmas time, she had given away some of her jewelry to me and I put it somewhere in my luggage and I couldn't find it. Today I finally found the silver earrings she gave me and this wave of sadness came over me and I didn't know why. I come home and find out that she passed today.

I knew her time was coming. I knew she lost her battle with cancer and this was the final time. I know it's selfish, but I wish I had more time to see this amazing person. I hate that out of the twenty years that I've been alive, I've only started to pay attention to my family for the past two or three. I missed out on a lot of things with my family. It's hard to think about someone being gone; forever. People come and go, willingly. I just don't understand the ones that have to go.

When I start to think of situations like this, I find myself quoting from the movie 'Charlie Bartlett'.

Charlie Bartlett: I just think you're missing the big picture.
Kip Crombwell: What big picture?
Charlie Bartlett: The universe.
Kip Crombwell: What about the universe?
Charlie Bartlett: Well, the universe is a pretty big place.
Kip Crombwell: Yea. It's infinite, theoretically.
Charlie Bartlett: Right, which means there's probably life on other planets.
Kip Crombwell: Not life like we think, but yeah. Probably at least single-cell organisms.
Charlie Bartlett: Well, see, that's my whole point. I mean you could've been born a single cell organism on the planet Zortex. In fact, given the odds, it's probably more likely, but you weren't. You we're born a human being. And not just any human being in the history of human beings, but a human being that gets to be alive today. That gets to listen to all kinds of music, that gets to eat food from every culture, that gets to download p*** off the internet. So really, you have everything to live for.
Charlie Bartlett: Do you feel better?
Kip Crombwell: Not really

R.I.P. Sara Connor